


Striking Out

by PrincessOfTheUnderdark



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, Football | Soccer, Football | Soccer Player Lexa (The 100), Minor Clarke Griffin/Niylah, Minor Costia/Lexa, Slow Burn Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-08-04 09:57:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16344620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessOfTheUnderdark/pseuds/PrincessOfTheUnderdark
Summary: Just how much does a little betting game between friends build up into a personal goal? Clarke is on the soccer team at University of Polis along with her 2 best friends. A new player shows up and Bellamy makes a bet with Clarke that she is determined to win even if she already paid up.





	1. New in Town

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shellexa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shellexa/gifts).



It was a typical Saturday night, Bellamy and Clarke stood at the bar sipping their drinks and watching everyone on the dance floor. This had been their Saturday night hang out spot since they became best friends in Clarke’s freshman year. Octavia Blake, Clarke’s roommate, had introduced her to her brother on move in day last year and they had bonded in trying to help Octavia put together a desk from IKEA. Their group had grown since that first day, but they remained pretty close.  
The floor of The Dropship was sticky under Clarke’s shoes as she shifted her weight back and forth scanning the crowd. Bellamy leaned over to Clarke and said, “I bet you fifty bucks you can’t get the number of the most attractive girl here.”  
“You insult me Blake, I have more game than you ever will. You’re on. I’ll even let you pick the girl.”  
“You overestimate your appeal, Griffin. We both know who’s bagged more chicks since you got here.”  
“Just because I prefer monogamy doesn’t mean I don’t have game. Now quit stalling and give me my target,” Clarke elbowed him in the ribs as she teased him. They had quickly learned that betting against each other was a fun game and a surefire way to get the other to do something.  
“Okay, you see that girl over there,” Bellamy pointed to a honeyed brunette holding a beer bottle and standing against the wall with her other hand shoved in her pocket. A redhead was trying to talk to her, but she looked as if she wasn’t interested, “Her.”  
“Oh,” Clarke’s throat got a little dry as she took in the girl. She was wearing a black t-shirt with the arms and sides cut out and a pair of grey stone washed jeans that hugged long toned legs, her hair was twisted back into several elaborate braids and she had a tribal tattoo on her arm. She was gorgeous and Clarke was suddenly a little more nervous than before.  
“What’s the matter Griff? Don’t think you’re up to the task?” Bellamy’s voice brought Clarke back to the challenge at hand.  
“Of course I’m up for it. I just needed a moment to study her. Here hold my drink,” Clarke thrust her cup into his hand and started to walk toward the girl.  
The closer she got to the brunette the more she felt like she was in over her head. Stepping up to the girl who had just sent the redhead on her way, Clarke held out her hand and introduced herself, “Hi, I’m Clarke. I couldn’t help but notice you look like a new face around here.”  
“Hi, I’m Lexa,” she took Clarke’s hand in a firm shake, “I just transferred here from JU, so I guess you could say I’m a new face everywhere.”  
“That’s a lovely name, Lexa,” Clarke liked the way the name rolled off of her tongue, “How are you liking things so far?”  
“Well, it’s my first day here and I’ve already got a beer in my hand if that tells you anything.”  
“Yeah, that’s rough. If you need anything, or want someone to show you the ropes… I’d be happy to offer up my services and free time.”  
“Well, Klark, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. Won’t your boyfriend be upset about losing your free time though?” Lexa gestured toward Bellamy who was still leaning on the bar watching them.  
“Oh,” Clarke turned around to see the older Blake sibling smirk at her, “he’s not my…” But as Clarke turned back toward where the brunette should have been, there was no one there. Sighing, Clarke turned back toward the bar digging a fifty out of her wallet as she walked and slammed it down in front of a chuckling Bellamy before taking her drink back and downing it.  
***  
Clarke woke to the smell of waffles and coffee, she stumbled out of bed and into the kitchen to find Octavia with a steaming mug in her hand and Raven keeping a diligent eye on the waffle maker.  
“It’s alive!!” Octavia exclaimed and Clarke became extremely aware of the headache she was fighting.  
“O, could you maybe tone it down a little. My head is killing me,” Clarke grumbled as she poured herself a cup of coffee and sat beside her teammate at the kitchen island.  
“Hey, it’s not my fault that you and Bell decided to go drinking last night instead of staying in with me and Rae to watch the Avengers movies.”  
“Yeah, Clarke. Don’t act like you’re too cool for that, we all see how you drool over Natasha Romanoff,” Raven chimed in as she poured more batter into the waffle iron.  
“It’s not my fault you two are single losers who are too young to join the big kids on a night out,” Clarke teased, starting to feel better as the caffeine entered her system.  
“We are not losers, we’re the cool kids,” Raven pouted as she set a plate with waffles, strawberries, and bananas in front of Clarke.  
“Yeah, you and Bell are the losers,” Octavia piped in as she shoved a forkful of waffle into her mouth as well, “Dd eu ear aout e ew ayer eer ettin?”  
“O, chew your food and say that again. No one can understand you when your mouth is full.”  
Octavia swallowed and took a drink of her coffee before saying, “Did you get the email about the new player we’re getting?”  
“No, when did we get that information,” Clarke’s face scrunched up in confusion.  
“We got an email about it this morning,” Raven offered as she sat down next to the blonde, “She’s supposed to be really good. She’s going to be at practice on Monday, Coach Indra didn’t say what position she would be. I hope it isn’t goalie, I really don’t want to be put out of a job.”  
“I was training with Coach when she got the call about her, she’s a striker,” Octavia said as she got up to rinse off her plate that took almost no time for her to clear. Clarke swore that the girl ate faster and more than any one person should.  
“Niylah isn’t going to be happy about that, she’s been trying to get Coach to put her in that position for a year now. Speaking of which, Clarke how did your date with her go last week?” Raven smirked at the glare on Clarke’s face.  
“It wasn’t a date, it was a study group. I’m not even that into her, she’s the one who keeps coming onto me.”  
“You never know, she could be the one Clarke. Some people find the one on accident, some people find the one in their stalker,” Octavia quipped as she went to the couch and powered on the Xbox ducking and laughing as Clarke threw a dish towel at her. Putting everything else out of their minds, the three of them settled in on the couch for a marathon of Harry Potter and then their weekly Mario Cart Tournament.


	2. Ruthless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ps. I know close to nothing about soccer, so I'm sorry if I ever screw that up. Hope y'all like this. Don't be afraid to comment down below!

Clarke groaned as she stretched, the muscles in her back pulling and tight from sleeping on the couch. She had fallen asleep during Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Raven and Octavia chose to leave her there when they went to bed and Clarke was definitely feeling it now. The three of them were doing their pre-practice stretches on the sidelines of the pitch. Raven’s girlfriend, Anya, was warming up with a few laps before coming over and slinging her arms around Octavia and Clarke.  
“Gross Ahn, you’re all sweaty and we haven’t even started,” Clarke complained and unwound herself from the sweeper’s arm.  
“Well, I think it’s hot,” Raven said as she placed a kiss on Anya’s cheek and Octavia made gagging noises.  
The team’s coach stepped out and motioned for them to gather around. She waited for the team to settle down before speaking, “As you all might have read in the email I sent out over the weekend, we have a new player joining us. She’ll be in the striker position that opened up. She just transferred here from Jaha University. I expect you all to make her feel at home here with the Pauna. Allow me to introduce Lexa Woods,” Indra held her arm out gesturing as the brunette stepped forward with a stone like expression and a curt nod toward the team.  
Clarke’s jaw dropped a little, it was the girl from the bar. Standing in the sunlight Clarke could now see how green the girl’s eyes were, she was even more stunning in the daylight. Behind her she heard Octavia whisper, “Dude, Ahn. Isn’t that your sister?”  
“Yeah, she never mentioned transferring. Of course, we haven’t talked much since I made it clear what I think of Costia,” Anya grimaced at the memory of the fight.  
“Who’s Costia?” Clarke asked, tuning back in to her friends.  
“Her girlfriend, also the devil incarnate. She basically made Lexa cut off all communication with her family and make some really poor life choices. I tried to warn Lexa about her, but she wouldn’t listen to me. That was the last time we spoke and that was over 3 months ago.”  
“Well, that explains some things,” Clarke couldn’t stop the sinking feeling in her stomach that turned sour at the back of her tongue.  
“Explains what, exactly?” Octavia asked as she bent down to tighten her laces.  
“Well, Bellamy made a bet with me last night that I-“  
“When are you two going to stop goading each other into doing things?” Anya groaned, only guessing at what the two had managed to get themselves into this time.  
“There is absolutely nothing wrong with a bet between friends Ahn. Anyway, he bet me that I couldn’t get a hot girl’s number, I even let him pick the girl. Turns out, that girl was Lexa and I failed miserably.”  
“You mean,” Octavia burst into laughter choking out her words in between gasps and giggles, “You tried to pick HER up at a bar. Oh, Griff, honey.”  
“What’s that supposed to mean,” Clarke growled out pouting as Octavia tried to catch her breath.  
“Woah, Clarke. It isn’t because you’re not hot, you’re a total babe. It’s just that she looks like she could eat you for breakfast,” As Octavia finished speaking a voice cleared itself behind them. Turning to see who wanted their attention, Clarke came face to face with those gorgeous green eyes again and she could feel her mouth getting a little drier.  
“Anya,” Lexa stood with impossibly straight posture and her arms folded stoically behind her back. “May I speak with you a moment,” her eyes flickered to Clarke and her friends, “in private.”  
“Sure thing,” Anya looked slightly uncomfortable as she broke off to follow her sister to a slightly more private area.  
“Dude,” Octavia said in a stage whisper as the girls walked out of earshot, “that chick has got some serious commander vibes going on.”  
“She probably would love if you called her that,” Raven chuckled, “she seems like the type of girl who gets her rocks off being in charge. You better keep a death grip on that captain’s band Clarke.”  
“The Commander is really laying into Anya, that doesn’t look pretty. Do you think we should get involved?” Clarke worried her bottom lip with her teeth.  
“Sisters fight,” Raven looked a little uneasy as she spoke, “Anya can hold her own. Besides, it’s their argument and their personal business. Let them yell at each other, it will work itself out.”  
Almost as if on cue, the two girls began to calm down and Anya turned to walk back to their group and said, “The Commander is staying with me now. It would have been nice for a heads up though.”  
“Wait a minute,” Octavia was grinning wildly, “People actually call her that?”  
“No, but you’re not very good at judging when people are out of hearing distance.”  
“Shit, is she pissed?”  
“A little, but mostly at me. I don’t think she heard you. She has a lot going on inside her head right now.”  
“Well, let’s see if it affects her playing ability,” and with that Clarke called for practice to officially start.  
It most definitely did not affect her playing ability, Clarke swore the girl could switch off her emotions like some kind of robot. Commander was becoming more and more adept at describing the brunette. She took control of situations and sank the ball into the net on almost every assist Clarke set her up with, the girl was like a machine. Even after practice, Lexa didn’t appear to show any signs of fatigue like the other girls who were groaning and complaining about Clarke making them do wind sprints, she just stretched and took sips of her water while refusing to talk too much to anyone. To say the girl intrigued Clarke was an understatement, there was something about that cold exterior that made Clarke want to find out just exactly who she was and why she put up so many walls.


	3. Captian, My Captain

“Raven! We said no more experiments that involve miniature explosions!!” Octavia caught Clarke’s eye as she walked toward the kitchen holding a fire extinguisher.  
“How am I supposed to learn if I don’t do experiments Octavia?”  
“Go to class, just like everyone else Rae.”  
“Can you both shut up so I can write this paper for my English class?” Clarke was already frustrated and the two bickering in the background was not helping.  
“Clarke, honey. Why don’t you go to the tutoring center, there are always TA’s around when you need them,” Raven offered up as she unsuccessfully tried to hide the burnt lampshade behind her back.  
“I’m in med school for christ’s sake. I shouldn’t need tutoring. I can’t wait until I’m done with this class and I can move on to relevant classes.”  
“Clarke, if you don’t get help now you’re going to let your grade drop and lose the captain’s position and trust me, you’re the only captain I want,” Octavia took the lamp shade from Raven and shoved it in a trash bag.   
“Fine,” Clarke began gathering up her things, “but don’t think that I don’t see the mess you made Raven. I want that cleaned up by the time I get back.”  
As soon as Clarke walked into the tutoring center she was taken aback by those bright green eyes glancing up to meet her gaze. Lexa stood up from the table she was sitting at and came to greet the blonde, “Klark.”  
“Lexa? What are you doing here?”  
“Well, actually. I’m a TA for the English department. I’m a creative writing major. What brings you here?”  
“Well, I need some help. This paper is kicking my ass.”  
“I can help,” Lexa looked a little nervous and started talking faster than normal, “if you want me to that is. I can get someone else if you’d rather.”  
“Lexa, it’s fine. I’d love it if you’d help me, it’d be nice not working with a complete stranger,” Clarke placed a hand on Lexa’s arm to calm the rapid onslaught of words. As soon as she made contact she couldn’t help but notice how it felt natural to her to calm the girl this way, almost like she’d been doing it forever instead of this being the first time.  
“Okay, well that’s good. I’m the only one not busy, so that would have been awkward if I’d had to go get someone else. Please, come sit and I’ll see what I can do to help you with your paper,” Lexa grabbed Clarke’s hand and pulled her to the empty table before sitting down and pulling out a pair of black rimmed glasses and sliding them on.  
“Oh, come on. That’s not even fair!” Clarke complained as she sat down and pulled out her laptop.  
“What’s not fair?” Lexa looked at Clarke genuinely confused.  
“These,” Clarke reached out and touched the frame of Lexa’s glasses, “you can’t be a tattooed bad ass and a cute nerd at the same time. That isn’t how the world works.”  
“I assure you, Clarke. I am not cute,” Lexa glared at the blonde across from her.  
“Whatever you say, Lex. Whatever you say.”  
***  
“See Clarke, you can do this. All you needed was a little guided instruction here and there,” Lexa said as they packed up their things almost two hours later.  
“Thanks for your help, I really couldn’t have done it without you.”  
“I barely helped at all. I think you just needed someone to sit down with you and answer questions when you needed it.”  
“Lord knows Raven and Octavia weren’t going to help.”  
“Well, I’m glad I could be of service Klark.”  
“Why do you say my name like that sometimes? I like it, don’t get me wrong, it’s just different.”  
“My family is Tricru, I grew up speaking Trigedasleng and English. Anya speaks it too, but usually not in front of people.”  
“Does your name sound different in it as well? You know, because you are Tricru?”  
“Yes, it’s actually Leksa.”  
“Leksa… I really like it that way.”  
“Do you want to go get coffee or something?”   
“Sure thing, let me just text Octavia. She and Raven, well mostly Raven, made a mess and I told them I wanted it clean by the time I got back home. I’m sure they’ll be glad to know they have more time,” Clark missed the small blush on Lexa’s cheeks as they exited the building.  
***  
“So I hand Anya the soccer ball and race out the door as soon as our dad comes in through the back door. She’s standing there with glass all around her and I’m nowhere in sight. I am still hearing about how much trouble I got her into,” Lexa giggled at the memory.   
“That’s probably the best thing I’ve heard all day,” Clarke had laughed so hard there were tears in her eyes. The girls sat at an outside table at Grounders, the campus coffee shop, enjoying the last warm rays of light sifting through the trees. Clarke had quickly discovered that she loved Lexa’s laugh and had started the exchange of ridiculous stories from their lives, just so she could get the chance to hear it again. They sat quietly watching the sunset for a moment before they both spoke at once.  
“It’s beautiful isn’t it,” from Lexa.  
“I should probably head back,” from Clarke.  
“I’ll walk you back,” Lexa slid a little of her stony mask back into place as she got up and Clarke couldn’t help but feel disappointed.  
“Thanks, I appreciate it.”  
As they walked Clarke began to shiver, it was colder than she expected it to be this time of year and her thin t-shirt was doing little to keep her warm. Without a word Lexa unzipped her hoodie and placed it on Clarke’s shoulders.   
“Thanks,” Clarke blushed as she pulled it on properly, “Won’t you get cold though?”  
“I’m like a human space heater, I rarely get cold.”  
“I find that hard to believe, but I’m keeping this for now.”  
“Go ahead, I could hear your teeth chattering. I thought they were going to break.”  
“I wasn’t that bad.”  
“Were too. Your fingers were probably going to turn blue in a few minutes.”  
“You’re ridiculous. I would have been fine, see my house is just right up there.”  
“I refuse to lose the captain of my team to frostbite. If you’re going to go down, at least make it cool. Like in a skydiving accident.”  
“I refuse to go skydiving.”  
“Oh, don’t tell me you’re afraid of heights?”  
“Maybe.”  
“Oh, good. I’m following a leader with a weakness.”  
“Everyone has weaknesses Lexa.”  
“Not me, I’m stone cold and unshakeable.”  
“Right,” Clarke drew to a stop outside of her door, “Well, this is me. Thank you so much for your help, it means a lot.”  
“Absolutely, it’s kind of my job though,” Lexa seemed a little reluctant to leave and Clarke didn’t really want her to.  
“So, now that we’re sort of friends. Can I have your number?”  
“I don’t just hand my number out to just any girl trying to win my favor,” the smirk that crossed Lexa’s face was downright devilish and full of mischievous promises.   
“I’m not,” Clarke started to speak but was cut off as Lexa leaned in and kissed her cheek.  
“Goodnight Klark,” with that the brunette walked away leaving a very stunned Clarke in her wake.


	4. Shaken and Stirred

“Clarke, you’ve been wearing that hoodie all day. Please tell me you’re going to take it off for practice, you’re burning me up just looking at you. It’s not even that cold today,” Octavia said as she stretched her calves.  
“I was planning on it, I’m not going to sweat in someone else’s hoodie,” Clarke shrugged the grey material off of her shoulders as she spoke.  
“Speaking of which, whose hoodie is that?” Raven gave her friend a critical look, “you never did tell us where you were yesterday evening.”  
“Just a friend’s, I got cold so she gave me her hoodie. Honestly guys, it’s not a big deal.”  
“Right, that’s why you wore it all day and refuse to tell us who it belongs to,” Octavia smirked.  
“That’s because it doesn’t matter.”  
“Hi Klark,” Lexa’s voice cut through the conversation.  
“Lexa, I’m glad you’re here,” Raven interjected, “if Anya was single and came home wearing an unknown person’s hoodie and refused to tell you where she had been and whose hoodie it was, then wore it most of the next day. You’d think that person meant something to her right?”  
“I would probably think she was seeing someone new,” Lexa’s eyes flickered to her now folded hoodie that lay on Clarke’s bag and smirked at the blonde, “or at the least that she had a crush.”  
“See,” Raven gestured to the brunette beside her, “even The Commander agrees with us. Clarke, tell us who it is!”  
“What did you just call me,” Lexa’s face was expressionless, but Clarke was quickly learning that her eyes are what gave away all of her emotions and she could see curiosity brewing with a little bit of pride.  
“Ummmm,” Raven stuttered, backing away slightly as if she were afraid, “nothing?”  
“Heda,” Lexa let her amusement show with a small smile, “Commander Lexa, I like it. But you better stick to it Raven. That’s my name to you from now on, got it?”  
“Yes Commander,” Raven mock saluted and Clarke snickered at the interaction.  
“Actually,” Lexa turned her attention back to Clarke, “I was wondering if you wanted to join me in a few warm up laps before we start for the day.”  
“Clarke hates running,” Octavia cut in for her friend  
“She once faked rolling her ankle so she didn’t have to run the mile in gym class,” Raven offered up.  
“Oh,” the Commander slipped back into her expressionless mask and turned to start her laps, “Okay, well your loss. Running clears your head, it helps me focus before matches and practice.”

Clarke couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed at her friends, she didn’t hate running, she just didn’t see the point in running mindlessly around a track with nothing to hold her attention. Lexa would have definitely held her attention though. Ever since last night Clarke couldn’t get her out of her head, she’d never clicked with someone so easily before. It helped that Lexa was the captain of the soccer team back at Jaha before she transferred so they were able to compare notes and Lexa gave her some ideas to implement during practice. The girl was still a mystery to Clarke though, it’s like every step that Clarke took toward getting to know her just uncovered another wall with a lock that she had to find the key to. 

As Clarke stretched she watched Lexa run admiring her calves until the other girl stopped near the bleachers where a girl with black hair and a dancer’s body was standing. The two looked like they were having an intense conversation, there were hand gestures and Lexa was shaking her head and both girls looked pissed. Clarke watched as Anya ran over to join the two, putting herself slightly in front of Lexa and in between the arguing pair. With a few more harsh words from all of them and Anya pointing in the direction of the parking lot, the dark haired girl turned and stomped off while Anya pulled her sister into a hug. Clarke’s heart went out to the girl, she didn’t know what was going on but she didn’t like the way that Lexa had looked so broken after that. 

Whatever had went down before practice had definitely affected Lexa’s game this time. She was missing kicks and flubbing simple maneuvers, it was obvious that she was shaken by what had taken place and was getting more and more frustrated the more it affected her.  
After practice ended the rest of the girls were packing up, but Lexa was still on the pitch trying to work on one of her turns. After the third time she tripped over the ball and messed up the skill she angrily shot the ball at the goal, not seeing Clarke headed her way. Thankfully Clarke was prepared for the ball and easily caught it right before it impacted with her face.

“I think you’re missing something,” Clarke held up the ball as she approached the striker.  
“Sorry, I’m just working through some shit right now. I don’t normally let stuff like this affect my game, it’s just that Costia showed up out of nowhere with no context right before practice,” Lexa sat down on the ground and rested her head on her knees.  
“If you need to take the day off tomorrow you’re more than welcome to,” Clarke took a seat beside her.  
“I don’t need a day off, I need her out of my life. She’s already fucked up too many things for me, I don’t need her to start doing it at this school too.”  
“Listen, I know that we just became sort of friends,” Clarke reached out and put her hand on Lexa’s back, “but I’m here for you if you need anything. As your captain and as your friend. I don’t know what happened, but I don’t like the way she made you feel. It was obviously a big enough upset that it shook your concentration. I’m just trying to say, I’m sorry.”  
“I don’t need your sympathy Klark,” Lexa shook off the hand before standing and storming off.


	5. Pain is Just Another Word for Love

Clarke lay in her bed that night, mulling over everything that had happened the past few days. She wasn’t sure why she had worn Lexa’s hoodie all day, other than the fact that it smelt like vanilla and sandalwood and something about it just felt like coming home. The other evening when they had gotten coffee and watched the sunset was perfect, Clarke would have considered the best date she’d been on if it had been a date. And then there was the whole kiss on the cheek thing, when it happened Clarke’s heart had been ready to beat out of her chest. That wasn’t a normal reaction for a simple gesture, granted it was a little weird for Lexa to have kissed her cheek, but maybe that’s just what Lexa did. I mean, the brunette did have an insanely hot girlfriend after all. A girlfriend that she couldn’t help but notice Lexa seemed to want out of her life, her words exactly. A girlfriend who Clarke found herself getting irrationally jealous over when she had absolutely no right to be.   
Lexa made Clarke’s stomach dance with butterflies. The blonde didn’t understand how someone she’s known for just over two weeks could make her feel this way. Clarke hadn’t felt this way about anyone before, it felt similar to when she had thought that she was falling for Finn, but this was stronger. It made Clarke uneasy, she didn’t know what it meant and that scared her. But, above all else, the only thing she could think about was how to get back on Lexa’s good side. Ever since Lexa had stormed off of the field Clarke had wanted to fix whatever it was that she had done. She never wanted to be the cause of that broken look that Lexa had on her face, it physically hurt her to think about how she had left after practice. 

After lying in bed staring at the hoodie draped across her desk chair for over 3 hours, Clarke had come to one conclusion, she was seriously crushing on Lexa and she wasn’t sure how to handle the new information that dawned upon her. Clarke had no idea what she was going to do about this, Lexa was her teammate. She’d never considered any of her teammates as romantic partners before, it just seemed messy and irresponsible. Niylah had been trying to win Clarke over since their first day of training camp last year and Clarke had never once even considered it, then Lexa shows up and she didn’t even think about it as she slipped on the brunette’s grey sweatshirt this morning.   
The time she spent with Lexa, at the tutoring center and after, was like they had been friends forever. Lexa made her feel so comfortable that she didn’t even realize that her walls had broken down until she was watching the sunset and she wanted to lean over and rest her head on Lexa’s shoulder, that is when she freaked out at how easily she had let her defenses down and said she had needed to head back. She was kicking herself now, she had never wanted to let anyone see her vulnerable but what she failed to realize at that moment was that Lexa was allowing herself to be vulnerable as well. When Lexa had let that stone cold mask slip back into place Clarke felt like she would do anything to see the girl underneath again. She didn’t know why Lexa felt the need to put up walls, but she desperately wanted to be the one to tear them down. Starting with getting her phone number after practice tomorrow.

***

Practice had come to a close and everyone seemed to be taking their time packing up and getting out of there. Clarke was doing her best to steel her nerves, at the very least she wanted to apologize to the brunette she had upset yesterday. Clarke finished packing up her things and stood up to make her way toward Lexa. When she turned toward the other girl however, she was met with the sight of black hair and a dancer’s body. Black hair that was wrapped around long fingers and a body that was being pulled closer to the very girl that Clarke had wanted to talk to. The girl that was now locked into a passionate kiss with her girlfriend. 

This wasn’t what she had expected to see after everything that had happened yesterday. She was at a loss of words as she stood there and watched something that made her blood run cold. Clarke felt like a cannon had been fired straight into her gut and had knocked the wind out of her lungs. The overwhelming feeling of defeat and disappointment washed over the blonde as she stood there in shock. Her mouth went dry and a lump formed in the back of her throat, she was overcome with the strength of her emotions in this moment.   
She could barely formulate a thought as she watched the scene unfold in front of her, slowly grasping at bits of her heart as they tried to crawl away.

“Hey Clarke,” Niylah bounced up to Clarke with a chipper demeanor, “I was wondering if you’d maybe want to catch a movie with me this weekend, like on a date?”

“Yeah,” Clarke knew that someone was talking to her, she had no idea who it was or what they were saying but, she knew she should respond, “sure.”

“Great! I’ll see you Saturday then,” Niylah smiled brightly and walked away, having no idea that Clarke hadn’t heard a single word she had said.

Clarke was rooted in place as she saw the couple break apart, ripping her heart apart with them. She could see the pair having a teasing and happy conversation before breaking apart, Lexa heading towards her and Costia heading away from the pitch.

“Clarke,” Lexa’s voice broke her out of her stunned silence, “I wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have blown up on you yesterday. You were just trying to help. I was just very frustrated and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have done that. We talked yesterday evening and we worked it out I think. Thank you for being there for me, it means a lot. I don’t really have a lot a friends here, being new and all. So, I appreciate it.”

“Anytime,” Clarke’s heart broke even more as she felt the tears fighting to come out, “I’m glad to see you’re smiling again.”

“Me too,” Lexa sighed and looked over her shoulder at the parking lot, “I should go. I know girls don’t like to be waiting.”

“Go, be with your girl,” Clarke felt acid on her tongue as she said the words.

“Thanks again Clarke,” Lexa once again leaned in and Kissed her on the cheek before walking away. This time however, Clarke was left feeling the exact opposite of what she had the first time, she felt empty.


	6. 3:07 AM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me for this haha.

“Clarke, sweetie,” Raven stood outside of Clarke’s bedroom door and knocked gently, “are you going to come out and at least eat something? Please? All you’ve done for days now is go to class and practice and then lock yourself in your room. At least tell me you’ve eaten today… Clarke?”

“Go away Raven!”

“She speaks! Clarke, I’m coming in,” as soon as Raven opened the door she got a pillow chucked at her, “Oh, it’s on Griffin,” Raven launched herself onto the bed and began attacking Clarke with tickles, the blonde struggled and gasped for air between giggles before tapping out and trying to catch her breath, her smile fading into an adorable pout.

“Are you going to tell me what’s got you all twisted up inside? Does this have anything to do with your date tomorrow?”

“What date?” Clarke’s face contorted in confusion.

“Your date, with Niylah? To the movies? You agreed to it on Tuesday, Clarke. It’s been all she’s talked about all week, she’s been hanging off you even more than usual. Something must really be screwing with your head if you’ve been this out of it all week.”

“Oh no. No, no, no. Raven! Shit,” Clarke sat up and buried her face in her hands, “this is so messed up.”

“Clarke, what’s going on?”

“Well, I sort of figured out that I might have feelings for Lexa…”

“Clarke! That’s huge! Oh, wait…Costia.”

“Yeah, when I saw them kissing on Tuesday after practice I just sort of felt like I’d been sucker punched. I guess that’s when Niylah asked me out. To be completely honest Rae, I have just been going through the motions since then.”

“Clarke, honey. I hate to say it, but maybe going on this date with Niylah will help put things in perspective. Lexa’s with someone, maybe you should try to move on and let yourself be with someone. You haven’t been with anyone since you and Finn broke up.”

“He cheated on you with me and then expected me to be okay with that,” Clarke hated talking about Finn. He broke her heart and her best friend’s heart. Without Finn she never would have met Raven, but it was still one of the worst experiences in her life.

“I found Anya after that, I’ve moved on. Maybe it’s time you do too.”

***

It was time for her date with Niylah and Clarke was dreading it. She knew that she wasn’t really into the girl and it just felt wrong to lead her on. Raven was right though, Clarke needed to move on. Finding out that Finn had a girlfriend was a low blow, she had loved him and he was obviously just using her to get into her pants. Finn had emotionally broken her and she hadn’t really let herself trust anyone since that moment. She had had crushes and has been attracted to people before, she mostly just stuck to one night stands after everything went down. She didn’t want to allow herself feel used and vulnerable to anyone, she’d only wanted to talk to Lexa and maybe try to get the brunette out of her system so that she could go back to her normal life of being unaffected. This date was going to be her first baby step towards being alright, towards letting herself feel something again. Clarke steeled her nerves as she watched Niylah pull up and walk to her door, it was now or never.

The date was going surprisingly well until the very end. The movie was decent, though Clarke couldn’t tell you what it was about. She had been battling her own demons and anxiety during the showing, she had finally gotten her brain under control just as the credits were starting to roll. They had spent the rest of the evening walking around and talking before grabbing a slice of pizza and heading back for Niylah to drop Clarke at home. That was when things went a little sideways. Niylah had walked Clarke to her door and had decided to lean in for a kiss. Things got a little carried away after that.

Niylah pushed Clarke up against the door and deepened the kiss. Clarke tangled her hands in the other blonde’s hair and reached behind her to open the door before pulling Niylah into the house and down the hall toward her bedroom. Clothes were being pulled off and eventually hit the floor as soon as Clarke’s bedroom door was shut. Clarke bit Niylah’s lip as she pulled her onto the bed and flipped them so that she was on top. She kissed down her throat and nipped slightly, it was like she was on auto pilot as soon as she had felt Niylah deepen the kiss. Clarke closed her eyes as she kissed lower down the body underneath of her and as she did she saw honeyed brunette hair instead of blonde, she saw green eyes darkening with arousal instead of hazel, in her head this was Lexa that she was pinning to the bed. When the control switched to her being on the bottom, she came with the thought of hearing her name in Trigedasleng. As she fell asleep next to the blonde in her bed, she couldn’t help but feel like a terrible person because she knew that she had just used her teammate and she also knew that she wasn’t getting Lexa out of her system anytime soon. She should have cancelled this date as soon as she knew she had agreed to it. This would surely end in heartbreak and she had worked so hard to keep that from happening to her and her friends.

***

The sound of her phone ringing woke Clarke up and she scrambled to answer it as she looked at the clock 3:07 AM.

“Hello?” she answered her voice thick with sleep.

“C-clarke? Please,” Lexa’s voice was like a bucket of ice water being poured on her, Lexa was crying. The sobs coming through the phone were chilling, “I-I need you t-to come and g-get me. Anya isn’t a-answering her ph-hone and I don’t h-have anyone else. I got your n-number f-from the team directory. P-please Clarke.”

Clarke wasn’t even thinking as she threw on a pair of sweats and a grey hoodie before heading out the door as she slipped on her shoes, “I’m on my way Lex. Just stay on the line with me.”


	7. What Have You Gotten Yourself Into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm sorry this update took so long, I was really unmotivated in writing it. This is also a really short update, I just want to get past this portion of the fic and move on to the more interesting and fun things about it. I'm sorry this sucks, it could also be sort of trigger warning-esque. Please don't hate me for this, I love you all, awesome nerds. Ideas and maybe some conspiracy theories about where this is headed are greatly appreciated! Enjoy lovelies!

Clarke didn’t hang up the phone until she pulled up outside of the police station that Lexa told her she was at. The girl hadn’t stopped crying the entire time she was on the phone with her. Lexa hadn’t even explained why she was at the police station, she hadn’t really gotten many words out of her since she told Clarke where to pick her up at. To say that she was concerned was an understatement for the blonde.   
Clarke couldn’t help the nagging feeling she had about leaving Niylah in her bed as she had raced to help a girl whom she knew was taken and probably shouldn’t let herself get attached to. Yet here she was, rushing inside of a police station to bail out a girl she barely knew, while the blonde was asleep in her bed.   
“Clarke,” the roughness of Lexa’s voice broke her out of her thoughts and brought her into the present. Lexa was sitting next to a desk staring up at her with puffy red eyes. The girl looked completely wrecked, this whole situation left a bad taste in Clarke’s mouth. When Lexa said she needed picked up from the police station, Clarke’s heart had leapt into her throat and she felt nauseous. Whatever this was about, it couldn’t be good. Lexa wouldn’t have called her if she didn’t need her help and this looked bad, really, really bad.  
“Lexa,” Clarke stepped forward with an itch to pull the brunette into her arms and comfort her, she stopped herself and settled with just taking her hands into her own, “What happened? Are you okay?”  
“She’s going to be fine,” a dark haired male officer stepped up from behind them and tossed a file down onto his desk, causing Lexa to flinch and grasp onto Clarke’s hands a little tighter, “Her friend however, she might not be. Heroin is a pretty serious drug to overdose on. Just a few more questions Ms. Woods and then your friend can take you home.”   
“HEROIN?!?” Clarke’s voice broke as she whisper yelled at Lexa, “Are you high right now? Seriously Lexa, what the actual fuck dude?”  
“I already told you what I know. She was drinking with me and some of her friends and we were just having a small party and I don’t know, time got a little fuzzy and when I went to see where she went I found her in the bathroom almost completely unresponsive! I called as soon as I realized what was going on. Everyone else, they just bolted. She was so pale…” By the time Lexa finished speaking there were tears streaming down her face, leaving new tear stain tracks over the many other layers that marked her face, her hands shaking inside of Clarke’s. Lexa looked sick to her stomach as she recalled, what Clarke assumed was, a mental picture of Costia on the bathroom floor.  
“I’m n-n-not high, I don’t d-do that. It w-was always Costia’s thing. I just had a l-little too much to drink,” Lexa looked at Clarke now. She was crying harder now as she shook her hair into her face so that she could hide behind her curls as she finished speaking.  
“And you don’t know where she got the drugs? Her supplier, who else she gave it to, anything?”  
“I told you, I don’t know!” Lexa was gasping for breath around her sobs and at this point and Clarke couldn’t hold back the urge to pull her into her arms for any longer. She wrapped the brunette in her arms and tried her best to soothingly rub her back. Lexa’s tears seeped into the hoodie she had thrown on and her body shook as Clarke pulled her in tighter trying to stop the sobs.  
“If she remembers anything helpful, have her call me,” the officer spoke to Clarke over Lexa’s shoulder as he handed her his card, seemingly aware that he was not very likely to get much more information out of the girl in the blonde’s arms, “she’s free to go as soon as she’s ready.”  
“Thank you, Officer,” Clarke glanced down at the card for a name, “Goldsmith.”  
“Just make sure she gets home okay,” he nodded sympathetically at Lexa before turning back to his paperwork.  
“C’mon Lex, let’s get you home,” As Clarke helped Lexa stand she saw how drunk the girl truly was, she tried to walk but kept stumbling over her own feet on the way to the car.  
“You can’t take me to Anya,” Lexa turned her panicked eyes onto Clarke’s blue ones once they were seated inside the vehicle, “She’s going to be so pissed. She hates Costia, specifically because of this.”  
“This has happened before?” Somehow, Clarke wasn’t surprised in the slightest, she didn’t even know the girl but, she could tell that Costia just brought trouble with her wherever she went.  
“Not this exactly,” Lexa flushed guiltily, “she was really into getting high when we were at JU. When Cos showed up at the practice field she told me she was out of this scene. She said she wanted another chance and that she wasn’t going to fuck it up this time. I broke up with her before I transferred schools because I couldn’t take it anymore, I needed to get away from the drugs. She was selling and she was getting high all the time, she was high more than she was sober. I swear she didn’t even know I was there half the time. Clarke! I don’t want to do this anymore,” Lexa was crying again, not that it really stopped but, it was heartbreaking to watch, “Please don’t take me back to Anya tonight, She is going to kill me. Please, let me come home with you. Please, Klark? I don’t have anyone else.”  
“Okay,” Clarke sighed heavily as she started her engine and steered them back in the direction of her apartment, already trying to think of what she would say to Niylah.


	8. About Last Night

Getting Lexa into the apartment and onto the couch was more difficult than Clarke anticipated. Lexa stumbled quite a bit on the stairs and then practically fell asleep on Clarke’s shoulder while the blonde fumbled with her keys to get the door unlocked quietly. Clarke basically had to drag the brunette toward the couch. She laid Lexa down onto the sofa, tucked one of the decorative pillows under her head, and gently pulled the throw blanket over her. As Clarke turned to leave a hand shot out and clasped her wrist with a surprising strength.

“Klark,” Green eyes stared up at her with a glassy sheen, “please don’t leave me, I’m not sure I can be alone tonight.”

“Lexa,” Clarke sighed her name. She could feel the confliction pulling in her chest, the need to protect the girl in front of her battling it out with her obligation and guilt she felt toward the blonde in her bed.

“Please,” Tears prickled in Lexa’s eyes again as she held tight to Clarke’s wrist begging her not to go.

“Okay,” Clarke’s voice felt weak and caught in her throat as she grabbed another pillow and blanket off of the couch settling onto the floor beside the cushions that Lexa was settled on intending to just wait until the brunette started snoring before going back to her bed that still had Niylah in it.

“Klark?” Lexa said after a few minutes of silence, her voice rough with strain and exhaustion, “Thank you. I don’t really have anyone in my corner, besides Anya. It’s nice to know I maybe have a friend here after all.”

“Lexa, I…” Clarke felt overwhelmed with the emotions building in her throat, “you have me.”

“You’re kind Klark,” Lexa met her eyes as she scooted closer to the edge of the couch, “Much kinder than I deserve.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Let me see your hand,” Lexa held her hand out expectantly. Clarke turned on her side and placed her hand in Lexa’s. Lexa turned her hand so that her palm was facing up and traced a line in the center of it, “This line is your heart line, it’s said to measure your kindness and love, it’s the longest line on your hand Klark.”

Lexa’s eyes pointedly met Clarke’s before turning back to her hand and comparing her heart line to Clarke’s, “Mine is the second longest, my longest is the one that is supposed to be your logic and leadership. Anya says that sometimes I let my heart line win the race, they’re almost the same length.”

***

Clarke wasn’t sure when she’d fallen asleep but when she opened her eyes she was met with a serene looking Lexa who was also holding onto her hand like it was a stuffed animal. As her eyes scanned the brunette’s face she met slowly opening green eyes and a soft smile spread across both of their faces. The peaceful moment didn’t last long though, Niylah’s voice shocked both of the girls into a panicked upright position, “WHAT THE FUCK CLARKE??”

“Niylah,” Clarke stood up and looked between the two girls that were in her living room, “this isn’t what it looks like. Lexa needed a friend last night.”

“YOU LEFT ME IN YOUR BED AFTER WE HAD SEX TO HOLD ANOTHER GIRL’S HAND CLARKE! WHO DOES THAT?” Niylah looked down at the ground and hugged her arms to her chest before looking up at Clarke with tears in her eyes, “I can’t do this Clarke. I thought that maybe, just maybe, you had feelings for me too. I guess I was wrong. You were just using me weren’t you?”

“I need to go,” Lexa said quickly, gathering her stuff.

“Lexa, stay,” Clarke said noticing the panic in her voice and needing to fix that.

“YOU WANT HER TO STAY?” Niylah had fire in her eyes as she glared at the brunette on the couch, “YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU, CLARKE! I TRUSTED YOU AND YOU’RE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, JUST USING ME FOR A HOOKUP!”

“Umm, I’ll see you at practice, Clarke,” Lexa said before opening the door, throwing a confused and hurt look at the two blondes locked in a staring contest.

“Lexa,” Clarke called out for her but she was already out the door.

“Really Clarke? I’m standing right here and all you can think about is her. She’s dating that chick from Jaha, we could have had something real Clarke. I’m out of here, don’t contact me about anything other than soccer,” the tears that were threatening to fall down Niylah’s face broke their resistance and started streaming as she walked toward the door, leaving a stunned and guilt ridden Clarke in her wake.

“Clarke? What’s going on? That’s a lot of yelling for 10:00 in the morning.” Raven’s voice broke Clarke out of her trance like stare at the front door.

“I fucked up Rae,” tears started falling down the blonde’s face and she wasn’t even sure why she was crying but, it was all just too much.

“Tell me what happened sweetie,” Raven led Clarke to the couch and held her as she recounted the whole fiasco that led them to this point.

“I think she had every right to be mad, just not for the reason she thinks. Clarke, you obviously did the right thing picking Lexa up. But maybe you should have just left her on the couch.”

“Raven, she looked at me and she looked broken. I couldn’t leave her alone.”

“Then I think you need to sort out your life and maybe find a way to make it up to Niylah because, that was a dick move blondie.”

“I know it was, I just…I couldn’t do it, Rae.”

“I get it. Where do you think she went, you should probably talk to her too? From what Anya says, she can be a little flighty at times, especially around new people.”

“What would I even say, I have feelings for you but I think Niylah deserves a fighting chance and you’ve still got a druggie girlfriend? We don’t even know each other that well. I’m sure that would go over great.”

“Well, why don’t you just settle for being friends right now? It sure sounds like she could use one, especially after last night. I can’t imagine Anya will be pleased when she finds out what happened.”

“Oh god, you’re not going to tell her are you? Lexa was so scared about her finding out.”

“Relax Clarke, I’m not going to say anything. It isn’t my place. Now, help me make breakfast before O wakes up and starts complaining about how hungry she is, I swear that girl eats more than a football team.”

Clarke smiled and allowed a small laugh to come out, “thanks Raven, for everything.”

“Don’t mention it,” Raven smiled mischievously before waiting a beat and saying, “No, seriously don’t mention it. I’ve got a reputation to up hold.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and the girls went about making breakfast, a plan already formulating in Clarke’s mind.


End file.
